


Sugar Coated Pain.

by brooklynbis



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Chronic Illness, Diabetes, Domestic Fluff, Domestic Phan, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Phan - Freeform, Sad Dan Howell, Sickfic, Supportive Phil Lester, bc 2015 was a good year, diabetic dan howell, diabetic!dan au, high blood sugars, hyperglycaemia, phil lester is a great boyfriend, probs set in 2015, type one diabetes, worried!phil
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-17
Updated: 2019-07-17
Packaged: 2020-06-30 03:05:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19844263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brooklynbis/pseuds/brooklynbis
Summary: For a majority of days, Dan deals with his illness almost as if it doesn't exist. After nearly ten years, it's become routine to him to get up, do a blood test, give an injection, eat breakfast. Repeat at every meal. The highs and lows have become part of his normal day, something to correct and continue on with.But there were some days where things would bubble over slightly, and suddenly his diabetes would become such a burden to carry. Like tonight._________________________AKA a small diabetic!dan au I started a while ago and finally ended up finishing





	Sugar Coated Pain.

**Author's Note:**

> this is mainly based off my own experience here (very heavily in fact). all systems used will be british as I'm from the UK, hopefully that doesn't get too confusing for anyone. I essentially love pushing my own feelings and situations onto characters since I cannot get this comfort irl lmao.  
> trigger warnings : mentions of blood tests and needles  
> title from 'Empty Wallets' by Five Seconds Of Summer   
> comments, feedback and kudos would be appreciated if you enjoyed, plus any prompts which you can leave in the comments or in my tumblr ask box @/brooklynbis

For a majority of days, Dan deals with his illness almost as if it doesn't exist. After nearly ten years, it's become routine to him to get up, do a blood test, give an injection, eat breakfast. Repeat at every meal. The highs and lows have become part of his normal day, something to correct and continue on with. 

He doesn't like the attention he sometimes receives because of the illness. He told his fans about his diabetes six months ago, in hope that it would help some other diabetics, and because he knew he had nothing to be ashamed of - this was as much a part of him as his skinny jeans and haircut was. It gave him the freedom to do his injections at public events, to not have to hide his supplies   
deep in his backpack, to do his blood tests on a livestream without worrying about the judgement. 

It was simply a part of himself he had come to accept. 

But there were some days where things would bubble over slightly, and suddenly his diabetes would become such a burden to carry. Like tonight. 

He knew it was going to be a rough evening when he did his blood test before dinner and recorded a reading of 16.8. Not the worst he'd ever had, but he was tired, and had work to do, so he couldn't really afford the added exhaustion of high blood sugars. 

That was hours ago. He had corrected, but his bloods had only risen since then, despite his lack of eating - high blood sugars completely wiped out his appetite. He had only eaten some yogurt because Phil had wanted him to eat something. He had headed up to the office in hopes he would get some of his video edited, but he hadn't gotten very far, in between going to the loo every half hour, drinking copious amounts of drinks and almost falling asleep too many times to count. 

Phil had disappeared to bed an hour ago, at Dan's insistence that he would join him soon. He had been worried about his boyfriend all evening, but he could see that staying up with him would only serve to make him more agitated. 

It was in the quiet of the flat that his thoughts began to get to him. He could feel the thirst on his tongue once again, persisting to irritate him further until he had to abandon his laptop to go to the kitchen and refill his glass with some more cooling Coke Zero. He stood in the kitchen silently, staring at the fridge. More specifically, staring at the list of the meal plan they had made for the week before they had done their food shop. Beside each meal, was a small tally and total - the carb counts Phil had calculated for Dan at the beginning of the week so he wouldn't have to do it each night. 

It was only as he stood staring at these various lists of carb information and correction doses littered over their fridge that he started to think about it. Sipping his cola, he realised that this was his reality, but for a large majority of people, they would never know this reality. They would never know what it was like to have their lives dominated by numbers and carb information, injections and hospital appointments. 

They would never know what it was like to spend countless nights without sleep because of high blood sugars that just wouldn't come down, low blood sugars that recurred constantly, making him too afraid to sleep in case he never woke again. 

They would never know. 

"You said you were going to come to bed," Dan heard quietly from behind him, making him jump slightly. He didn't turn to face Phil, knowing he'd be able to tell something was wrong. 

"Got thirsty," Dan said, holding up the half empty glass as proof. Phil just shook his head, walking over to Dan slowly before stopping in front of him. 

"What are your bloods now?" He asked as Dan shrugged. 

"Dunno, haven't done them since you went to bed," He said casually, not saying anything extra as Phil carefully made him sit down at the dining table, before disappearing momentarily and returning with the small bag containing all of his supplies. 

"What's wrong?" Phil murmured as he continued to set up the small machine that would inevitably give Dan another bad number. He didn't answer straight away. 

"Most people never have to worry about anything like this," Dan said softly as Phil dipped the strip into the small blob of blood on the side of Dan's finger. 

"I know. It sucks." 

"Like, nobody ever has their food come with a bunch of numbers, needles and blood. Nobody else ever has to worry excessively when eating a slice of cake, because their only worry is that they'll have to do extra at the gym the next morning. Nobody else has to have fucking pieces of paper everywhere noting the carb count of every little thing you might want to eat. It's just food," Dan rambled as Phil sighed, silently showing him the number as he ranted. "And I'm still fucking high, I've had enough Phil," He huffed, leaning forward and resting his forehead in his hands. 

"It's shit, and I can't say I understand it because I don't have to go through the shit you do, but babe, you are one of the strongest people I know, and it amazes me each and every day how you don't let it affect your life. Everyone's gonna have down days, Dan, and you're gonna have days when you feel the burden weighing heavier than others, but that's okay," Phil said, rubbing his knee comfortingly. 

"I'm just tired," Dan replied without looking up at his boyfriend. 

"Well, give yourself this injection and then you can sleep as long as you want, yeah? We don't have any plans for tomorrow," Phil compromised as Dan looked up at him. 

"I can't go to sleep when I'm high, I need to make sure I come down, you know that," he said with a hint of frustration in his voice. 

"I was gonna say that I'd stay up and keep an eye on your sugars for you," Phil offered, making Dan frown in confusion. 

"No, if you're not sleeping then I'm not either, especially not when it's because of me," Dan argued as Phil sighed, just handing him the insulin pen he had set up whilst they'd been talking. 

"C'mon then, let's go watch a film. And before you say it, I'm not going to sleep," Phil said once Dan had done the injection. Dan just nodded, putting the pen down on the kitchen table before following Phil into their living room and sitting on the sofa, allowing Phil to set up whatever film he wanted to watch. 

"I love you," Dan murmured as they got settled on the sofa, Dan cuddled into Phil's side, a blanket haphazardly thrown over the two of them. 

"I love you too. Always," Phil replied, pressing a gentle kiss to Dan's forehead as the opening credits for the film began. 

Dan wasn't being as subtle as he thought when Phil caught him almost dozing off several times during the film. Each time, he insisted he was awake but within a couple minutes, he was drifting off again. 

"Just go to sleep Dan. Don't fight it lovely," Phil whispered in his ear after the fifth time, gently stroking his curls to encourage his sleep. The last thing Dan thought before falling asleep was how grateful he was to have Phil in his life.


End file.
